What is it about shopping and queues! What do YOU do when you have to make a choice of which queue to join. Do you go for the long one or the short one? Well, if you are like me you join the wrong one. If there was a prize awarded for joining the wrong queue it would be mine every single time.
First thing in the morning and invariably you go into the newsagents and pick up a paper. There’s a choice of queues so I join the short one. The guy in front only has a newspaper. Wrong, never assume that one will be the shortest.
“Oh, er, and 20 cigarettes please. No, not those, the next ones down. That’s it. Still trying to stop you know.”
Shame you did n’t stop yesterday then.
“…..and a lottery scratch-card. No, not that one, that one. Nearly won yesterday.”
Pity you did n’t. You could have taken today off. And anyway how can you nearly win.
“….and I’ll have a can of coke and these four chocolate bars. I’ve started my diet now you know”…………
The guy then produces a fist full of change, dumps it on the counter and proceeds to slowly count it out. Congratulations, wrong queue!
Later in the day, usually during your lunch hour, you pop into the local DIY for a couple of things. Just some small items, be in and out in a few minutes. WRONG! Well, if ever a store was aptly named. Not sure what the B stands for, but the Q……You end up in the short queue again, because it’s the only queue, it’s lunchtime. You find yourself behind a couple who have bought enough paint to decorate and refurbish the whole street, never mind just the front room of their house. Then the wife pipes up,
“…oh, I’m not so sure now, perhaps that other colour would be better for the walls. I’ll go and change it. This gentleman won’t mind waiting….”
The tannoy cuts in “Assistants to the check outs please.” Helpfully there is another assistant right next to you. One of those assistants who walks the queues and says “Have you got everything there, sir, need anything else?”. Yes, do you do overnight accommodation…
Your marathon has left you feeling hungry and the afternoon’s not been long enough to go back to work. Fish and chips! Great idea so you go to the local chippies and there’s only the one person in front of you. At last! Now you are getting somewhere.
“Er, fish and chips six times, love, salt and vinegar, all separately wrapped, and a carton of mushy peas, an extra fish and some scraps”.
That’s all the fish gone then. Have to wait for a fresh cooked one now. It’s all enough to drive you to drink. So afterwards you go to your local pub and head to the bar just as the chap in front says,
“Yeah, six pints of bitter, please and two pints of lager, and eight bags of crisps. What flavours you got”.
Think I’ll stop in bed tomorrow, if there is n’t a queue. As for going to the bank and the supermarket…forget it!!